


Gratitude

by justtoarguewithyou



Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First War with Voldemort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26682415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justtoarguewithyou/pseuds/justtoarguewithyou
Summary: The full moon after Remus's disastrous full moon experience as part of his order mission.He and Sirius get into their feelings. There's poetry. :)
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933714
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Gratitude

Remus wakes in a soft bed after his monthly transformation. With the crisp, clean cotton sheets under his fingertips, he thanks his lucky stars for Sirius. He chuckled. His lucky star: Sirius. The brightest star in Remus’s sky.

This full moon feels much better than the previous one. Remus is still angry about his mission, about the way the others have been seemingly forgotten. Dumbledore still hasn’t given him a good answer about what will become of them.

“It isn’t enough to tell them that they will be able to live with their consciences,” Remus had spat at the last Order meeting. “They’re suffering, and we’re doing nothing about it.”

Dumbledore had merely clasped his long fingers together and said, “There are many battles to fight, Remus.”

Sirius had tutted impatiently at his end of the table, and put his hand consolingly on Remus’s shoulder. Remus had bristled with anger and magic.

Dumbledore had adjourned the meeting soon after.

This full moon, the wolf and the dog ran free on the moors in Wales. Sirius had apparated them outside of a little village, and took Remus for a pint and an early dinner at the local pub. Then they went to the secluded and wild spot that Sirius had chosen for them to transform once the moon began to rise.

In the morning, after Remus had become himself again, Sirius gathered Remus to his chest, and held him, as he turned on his heel, and apparated them home. There, in the very comfortable and well-appointed flat they share (thank you, Uncle Alphard), Sirius has all manner of pain potions and salves and even Muggle medications, depending on what Remus needs.

“You’re awake,” Sirius says, coming into the bedroom.

Remus sits up on his pillows, and Sirius smiles, handing Remus a mug of his favorite post-transformation tea blend. Sirius always has the apothecary ingredients on-hand to make it: valerian root, cloves, ginger, feverfew, among other things that Remus only knows by smell. It helps with his pain, and with the dysphoria of being in a body that is not his own.

“You’re a real mensch,” Remus says, blowing on his tea; though he knows he doesn’t need to, because Sirius always waits until it is just right before bringing it to him. “I’m so glad I didn’t argue with you when you asked me to move in.”

Because Remus almost had, had almost let his pride get in the way of his accepting his best friend’s offer of help.

“I’m glad you didn’t argue, either,” Sirius nods in agreement. “That would’ve been so tedious. And look at everything we would’ve missed out on.”

Sirius gestures around the room. But Remus knows he means more than sharing the flat, with its piles of Remus’s books and Sirius’s records some strewn in front of the very nice teak stereo cabinet, but most stored inside (including The Carpenters record that Sirius doesn’t know that Remus knows about); the leather sofa that is just the right size for cuddles, and all of Remus’s sweaters with strands of Sirius’s black hair woven into the knit from the launderette washing machines (both Sirius and Padfoot shed).

Remus thinks about this person, this brilliant, kind and loving person, and he feels so warm and safe. Sirius had grown up after the fateful full moon of their sixth year, when he had betrayed Remus’s secret to Snape.

Remus thinks about this person, who has grown into a reliable, dependable, and very handsome man. No longer the brat prince.

“Sirius,” he begins, and Sirius sits quietly on the edge of the bed because he knows when Remus uses his first name, he’s about to say something important. “I just want to tell you that you mean so much to me.”

And Sirius smiles as bright as his namesake, and he waits because he knows that opening up is hard for Remus, who has always had to hold on so very tightly to his secret.

“I know I’m lucky in so many ways to have such wonderful friends like James and Peter, and Lily. But I want you to know how lucky I am that you love me. I appreciate all of this. I appreciate you so much.”

Remus leans back on the pillows, feeling raw and vulnerable. Sirius leans in to kiss his cheek near his left eye, then his right, and then the corner of his mouth.

“I love you, Remus,” Sirius says, because that’s the reason for everything, anything, that Sirius does. “I’m so very thankful for you, too. You’ve given me so much grace, and I’ll never be able to repay you.”

Sirius then nibbles a few kisses down his lover’s neck. And Remus huffs Sirius’ hair, and squeezes him close. A tear falls from his eye, and then another, as he thinks on a Sara Teasdale poem he’d memorized when he was so much younger.

His mother, Hope, had read it to him before he left to Hogwarts, to remind him that the stars would always be the same, whether over their home in Wales, or at Hogwarts. She had been worried that he wouldn’t make friends. She had always been so pleased when the letters came filled with Marauder antics.

Remus thinks on the last lines now, because they feel especially poignant:

_“Years go, dreams go, and youth goes too,  
The world’s heart breaks beneath its wars,  
All things are changed, save in the east  
The faithful beauty of the stars.”_

Sirius: his beautiful star. Remus takes a deep breath, taking in the aroma of the tea, and the lavender scented soap that had been on sale, and just Sirius’s skin.

“I love you so much,” Sirius whispers. “Thank you for all this.”

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sara Teasdale poem [Winter Stars](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/53214/winter-stars-56d2324fcb793)


End file.
